Olympian Maelstrom
by PainX65
Summary: A collection of one-shots of Naruto and Percy Jackson crossovers with a third series crossover mixed into it. A bunch of triple crossover one-shots with potential to become more than that.
**Bloodsucker**

 **Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto, Percy Jackson or Hellsing**

A young man could be seen walking through the woods. He had slightly pale skin with a sharp jaw that had six whisker marks three on each cheek, he had black hair that went a bit of every were. The man was wearing a long red coat with a black vest with black jeans and a black fedora hat on top of his head and some orange shaded sun glasses.

" _Now you're probably thinking who the hell is this guy. Well I'm just a man strolling through the woods. The air was clear, the moon was full. I was just **Dying** to sink my teeth into something, Get it? Because I'm a vampire. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA...It's funny_ "

The young man grinned at what he found, his grin showing he had slightly pointed teeth. What he was looking at was a evil undead priest.

"So you came, to bad for your far to late" The priest said as he stared at the young man holding a young woman who was shivering in fear.

"..What?" The young man asked.

"Everyone else is already dead. Except this little tart. But trust me, I still plan to kill her" Said the priest gesturing to all the dead bodies.

"Mm-hmm"

"But first, I'm going to _rape_ her"

"Neat" The young man commented.

"But before I can do any of that...I'm going to kill _you_ " The priest threatened.

"Oh see that would be intimidating if you were...well intimidating"

"Grr, are you mocking me" The priest growled out.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no...pfft, yeah!" The man laughed before he shot the woman through her chest killing the priest.

The woman collapsed on the ground staring up at the moon until the young man came into her view.

"Well, that should about wrap things up here" The man was about to take off but he could hear the woman gasping in pain. "Oh yeah. Forgot about you. Sorry about that whole 'shooting you thing', but I know if you look deep in your heart, which is currently all over that tree, you will find a way to forgive me"

The woman just gave another gasp of pain as the light started to fade from her eyes.

"Aww, geez, you look like a puppy. A blonde, eviscerated puppy"

A tear slid down the woman's check as she continued to stare into the man's red eyes.

"Christ! Fine! I'll help you! But only because you got nice tits" The man leaned down and bit the woman in the side of her neck making her take a sharp gasp of breath as she started to change.

 **A Few Minutes Later**

"Um, thank you for saving me" The woman said timidly as she stared at the ground.

"What's your name" The man asked.

"S-Seras" The woman finally raised her head and looked at the man.

"I'm gonna call you police girl" The man said with a giant grin.

"O-Ok, Um whats your name?"

"Naruto Alucard Uzumaki" Before Naruto could continue his phone started ringing. "Yo" He said before telling his master what went down.

 **Another Few Minutes Later**

Naruto was still on the phone talking to his Master.

"So, that's your field report?" Hera, the Queen of Olympus asked.

"Yup"

"You went on a walk through the forest at midnight"

"Yup"

"You killed homicidal vampire priest"

"Dead" Naruto confirmed.

"And then then you turned someone into a vampire, who happened to be a big tittied-"

"Big tittied police girl. Yes! It's like I didn't just get through explaining this. Now if you don't mind, I've got things to do"

"What 'things'? you don't do 'things'"

"Yes, I do. I take enthusiastic walks through the woods"

"And kill Homicidal vampire priest"

" _Very_ enthusiastic walks"

 **One Week Later**

Two teenagers could be seen holding each other in a room covered in blood with three bodies around them.

"Oh, uh, Oh yes! I love you Edward" The girl said.

"And I...Love You...Bella" The boy said as they both heard knocking at the door shortly afterwards. "Hold on. Who is it?"

"Oh, you know..." Naruto's voice could be heard through the door as bullets started to go through the door killing Edward. "...A _real_ fuckin' vampire"

Bella gave a scream as she jumped out the window and made a run for her life. Naruto just gave an evil chuckle as he phased through the roof of the house to look at police girl.

"Hey, police girl, do you have the target?" Naruto asked.

"Ok, master, my name is Seras. And yes, I have the target in sight" Seras said in a irritated voice not as nervous to be with Naruto anymore.

"Well, better take the shot, your letting her get away"

"If you just give me a second to concentrate I could-" But she was interrupted by Naruto as he appeared behind her.

"She's getting away, she's running!"

"I get it, I'm lining up the-" Seras was getting even more annoyed with her master as he kept interrupting her.

"Going to miss it! Going to miss it!"

"Just be quiet and let me-"

"Hey, police girl, Hey! hey, police girl!" Naruto's grin got bigger as he saw what he was doing to her. Seras having enough of her master's constant annoyance, her eyes turned red as she shot Bella down.

"There! I took the fucking shoot! She's dead, there's blood everywhere!"

"...Oh, you are just a treat"

 **A Few Minutes Later**

Naruto was back on the phone with Hera.

"So, that's your field report?"

"Yup"

"So you broke into the house..."

"Yup"

"...And shot him thirty six times?"

"Thirty _seven_ "

"And took out his partner?" Hera could already feel a headache coming on.

"To be fair, that was the police girl...you know, the one with the big titties" Naruto clarified.

"...You need to stop going on walks"

"And you need to hurry up and hook up some god-damn DLS in here!"

"Ugh! listen; you have an assignment in Ireland" Hera said rubbing her temples to try and calm down.

"Ooooh...I've never haunted down a leprechaun before. Do you think if I shoot it with my gun lucky charms will explode _everywhere!_ "

"Sweet Chaos! Just get to Ireland, kill the vampire who's taken over the hospital, and bring the police girl with you"

"Aww, come on! I have to bring her _everywhere!_ " Naruto whined.

"AH-AH-Ah none of the sass"

"Yes, MOM" Naruto said sarcastically.

 **In Ireland**

A small hospital could be seen and through the windows flashes and loud gun fire could be heard with Naruto's mad laughter as Seras could be seen sitting at the front door.

"Hey, Police girl! Police girl! This is awesome! You should totally join in! Seriously there is like...forty zombies in here! Just one shot to the head and they explode" To emphasize his point he shot another one making it's head splatter across the wall. "It's just like house of the dead, only like...a hundred times more awesome"

Seras bored out of mind burst through the door.

"Fine! I'll shoot some of the rotten bastards! Cant be that much fun" She said as she shoots one of the zombies as her eyes turned red and she gets an excited grin on her face. "Oh, fuck the hell, yes!" She started to slaughter all of them with out a thought.

"Sweet Black Fucking Sabbath! If I wasn't holding out for that beast of a woman Hera, I'd fuck the red right out of those eyes" When Naruto finished talking multiple arrows came out of nowhere and impaled Seras. "Well...kinda like that, only less symbolism and more my penis in your vagina" Naruto sniffed the air a few times.

"Huh?! Suddenly it reeks of Amazon in here" Naruto said as a woman walked around the corner revealing herself to be a tall woman who had dirty blonde hair, blue eyes and some faded scars on her face. The woman was wearin a white blouse with a brown overcoat and she also had blacks pants and boots. "Oh, if it isn't one of Artemis' little hunters! And what's this!? No little boy stuck under you boot? Progress" Naruto said glaring at the hunter.

"Ah, and look what we have here? a filthy _male_ "

"Excuse me, but I'm a fuck-mothering vampire! I've killed a LOT of people to get this title. I deserve to be called such"

"Well then, mind if I ask your name?" Asked the woman.

"Only if you give your name first"

"Fine, I'll give you the courtesy. The name's..." She said giving a pause for dramatic effect.

 **With Hera and Athena**

Hera was a beautiful goddess with long flowing black hair that reached the middle of her back. She had smooth flawless skin and she had a professional look. She was currently getting informed by Athena who was just as beautiful and had golden hair and peachy pale skin.

"Samantha Anderson, hunter of Artemis" Athena said making Hera eyes widen.

"Oh no"

 **With Naruto And Samantha**

"I have come here to end you male, I have chosen you to reveal my existence to the world. You will witness what happens here today, and you will tell of it later...except you won't...'cause I'll kill 'ya ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha"

"Oh, my, brilliant speech...and unoriginal. That's totally from Boondocks Saints"

"What!? No, it isn't! I came up with it about a week ago" Samantha denied.

"Whatever, we're here for the vampire" They both heard groaning as Naruto turned to Seras. "Yeah, yeah , give me a minute" Then turned back to Samantha. "So, what do you want, anyway? The nearest cannula for bitches is ten kilometres that way"

"It is your corrupt I claim. It is your evil that will be sought by me with every breath"

" _Boondock-Saints_. Seriously, you must watch that movie religiously" Samantha getting angrier by the second.

"Ok, you know what? fuck it-Knife"

"Knife?" Naruto questioned until he was stabbed by two bayonets. Naruto responded by shooting her directly in the forehead "Boom! Head shoot. Well now that that's over, how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favourite cereal Count Cho-" Naruto was interrupted as he was decapitated by Samantha who had a crazed smile on her face.

"Well now that's over, how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favourite cereal frankenber..." She stopped talking when she noticed that Seras was gone. "Son of a bitch! ...Well, you know what time it is" Samantha drew her bayonets, a lot of them.

 **With Seras**

Seras was limping down the hallway cradling Naruto's head.

" _Police girl...Poli-i-ice girl, you are reading your masters mind! put my head between your boobs!_ "

"I'm all alone" Seras muttered to herself as she held Naruto's head to her chest.

Naruto voice sounding slightly muffled " _Very good! Now the next I want you to do is-put me between your legs_ " Bayonet came and pierced Naruto head into a wall " _God damn it_ "

"Now you only have a two options you can come with me and join the hunt or I will kill you were you stand" Samantha having her bayonet ready to strike her down.

"That's quite enough" Came the calm and cold voice of Hera as she stepped into the scene. Samantha backed off when she saw the goddess turning to Seras. "Where is Naruto?"

Samantha answered for her. "Oh him? I killed him"

"Killed him?" Hera asked confused.

"I cut off his god damn head"

"Oh! Well, that's step one...what about two through ten?" Just to prove Hera's point Naruto's body began to regenerate until it was whole again.

"You done goofed" Naruto said looking down on Samantha.

"How in the name of Hades did you do that!" Samantha demanded.

"Fuck you, that's how"

Samantha quickly ran off jumping out of a window knowing that right now as she was outnumbered and weaker than the god and the male even know she tried to deny the male's skill from what she saw and heard.

"Sooo..."

"What?" Hera asked.

"Do I get to go after her?"

"No" Hera said sharply.

"Aww come on!" Naruto whined childishly.

"No, and that's final! We've got bigger things to worry about. Whoever is aiding Kronos and his army are the same ones who are behind these vampire attacks...it has to be some kind of large organisation"

"Like the Nazis?" Naruto asked.

Hera just gave Naruto an annoyed look. "That would be retarded" As Hera was about to leave. "Naruto, I'm going to be sending you and the police girl on a mission to japan" Naruto gave a nod as he and Seras left for Japan shortly after being informed of their mission.

 **In Japan**

Naruto was leaning against a wall while Seras was taking out Zombies. Naruto heard his phone ringing and checked to see it was Hera.

"Hello, Naruto. How was your mission in japan?"

"EH...I'd say ninety nine" Naruto said as he looks at the zombies again only to see one at the gate. "Point nine precent done. 'Sup, Bitch"

"I need to talk to you about some important guests that I'm going to see today"

"Are they hookers?"

"No" Hera said pinching her nasal bridge.

"And just like that you've lost me" Naruto was losing interest in the conversation quickly.

"They're the other gods"

"Oh man, they must hate me"

"They do, that is why Zeus is threatening to cancel our budget"

"Oooh, that's bad. We need that, right? Athena we need that, right?"

"Yes, Naruto that is very important"

"Thank you, Athena" Naruto said politely as Hera withheld her emotions as she knew he was trying to get a rise out of her.

"Over the last couple of years we've had some...expensive claims and the mist has trouble with all the shit you do"

"Like what?"

"First off-property damage" When Hera said that Naruto remembered that small town that caught on fire when he was doing a job there.

"Good times" Naruto chuckled.

"Dozens of noise complaints..." Naruto chose that moment to blast the song Nobody by Skindred.

"Sorry! I cant hear you!" Naruto yelled.

"Killed at least a dozen of innocent people" Hera reminded.

"Oh, so did Anthony Hopkins, and he got a fucking Oscar for it!"

"And...all the sexual harassment"

"...I'm not apologizing" Naruto said seriously as Hera just sighed.

"Listen, I know this is asking a lot, but..."

"But..."

"I want you to keep yourself locked in the manner until I get back from the meeting"

"...I get the distinct impression you are embarrassed of me" Naruto said lamely.

"Naruto..." Hera warned.

"Yeah I'm gonna go with _no_..."

"This is important, and I don't need you causing another scene"

"I don't have to take this. I'm going for a walk"

"No you _don't!_ "

"Oh!, what are you going to do? Grab that guy who can stop me? what was his name...? Michael Mic- _doesn't_ exists"

Hera was close to giving up. "...What do you want?" She sighed

" _What?_ " Naruto's grin was so big it nearly split his face.

"What...do I need to give you...to keep you in the house for the evening"

"I'm going to need a new gun. Also, one for the police girl"

"But I already have a gun!" Seras said but Naruto seemed to ignore her.

"Get that bitch a cannon- _bitches_ love cannons"

"Anything else?" Hera asked.

"A seventy-inch plasma wide screen TV"

"Really?" Hera pulled out some nectar and wine as the combination of both was only way a god or goddess can feel the effects of alcohol.

"With Netflix" Naruto quickly added.

"Should it also be 3D?"

"No! That's a stupid fucking gimmick and everyone knows it!"

"Just get to the house, all of that should be there by the time you get home" Naruto just hung up the phone but she could feel his smirk.

 **With Hera And Athena At Olympus**

When Hera finished talking to Naruto she downed her wine and flashed to Olympus with Athena. When they got there they saw everyone was in their seats.

"Good to have you finally join us Hera" Zeus said as Hera just nodded and sat next to him.

 **Three Hours Later**

"Now before we end this meeting I wanna discuss about your servant Hera" Zeus said with a angry look.

"What did he do this time?"

"Over the last couple of years, he has sent no less then four hundred death threats to me. By carrier pigeon, no less. They just, fly right up to Olympus. The latest one read as such" Zeus cleared his throat as he then read the letter out loud. "Dear-"

 _Dear Zeus_

 _I wanted to send you this friendly little letter_

 _to imform you of your imminent demise. If_

 _you're curious about the frequency of which I've_

 _Sent these letters, it is merely to install as much_

 _fear as I can. As if basting a turkey which I_

 _will then proceed to have sex with._

 _That's right._

 _I'm going to **FUCK** the fear turkey._

 _Follow me on twitter._

 _Sincerely Naruto_

It took almost every male gods' willpower not to burst out laughing from what they heard, even Hades cracked a smile.

"Zeus listen" Hera tried to say but she was interrupted by Hades this time.

"We are having a problem justifying some of these expenses. Most of them under the name...'Naruto'"

Hera pinched the bridge between her nose and inhaled deeply she then let it out and signaled for him to continue.

"For example, some of these were frankly labelled 'entertainment'"

"Entertainment?..."

"Like in my report...twenty thousand for a...Candi?"

"That's candi with an 'i', by the way" Apollo quickly said.

"I see..." Hera said as she grimaced.

"Not to mention that antique car...I believe the note on the claim was 'I thought I could paint it red, but I couldn't find enough goats, so I scraped it'"

"So that's why we found my car covered in goats blood and rammed into a dairy queen" Hera said as she leaned into her throne with a groan

"Oh, yes, and then there's also the Dairy Queen. Sitting about ninety five thousand in damages" Hades said as Hera could only think of one thing.

" _When I get home you are going to get it Naruto_ "

"Hera I wish to see your servant" Zeus said.

Hera just sighed and pulled her phone out. "Naruto get to Olympus now, you have been summoned"

"Listen, I'm going to have to stop you right there. I'm under direct orders from my boss, who is a total bitch by the way" Naruto gave an aroused grunt after saying that. "That I'm not to leave this house until such time as she returns from her meeting from Olympus. I was even bribed. Imagine that..."

"Naruto, you vampiric asshole, I wil-" She was then interrupted by Naruto.

"Sounds great, but i'm gonna have to go now, I've just queued up an episode of Adventure Time on Netflix bye~..." They heard the opening song for Adventure Time before Naruto hung up the phone. Hera growled as she nearly crushed the phone in her hand.

 **With Naruto**

Naruto had a smile on his face as he was sitting in his chair with a glass of wine watching adventure time until there was an explosion destroying his TV wiping the smile right off his face.

"That was a seventy-inch...plasma screen TV" Naruto took a big inhale of air before changing his tone to a more cheerful one. "So, how can I help you?"

"You must be the great Naruto" Luke Castellan, the traitor of Olympus said.

"S'uuup?" Naruto replied.

"I've heard quite a lot about you" Luke said.

"Oh, really?"

"The night walker...who glides through oceans of blood. Beyond human, a monster's who's power radiates with darkness that casts a shadow on _darkness itself_ -" Luke was interrupted by Naruto.

"Oh, you dirty bitch work the _shaft!_ " Luke was stunned at first.

Ex-Excuse you..?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I like to talk dirty when someone's _sucking_ my dick" Naruto said with a glare.

"...Perhaps I should skip to the point. My name is Luke Castellan"

"And I'm Carmen Sandiego, Guess where I am!"

"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you..." Luke was getting annoyed with his idiocy but they needed him for the war.

"Oh, so am I, and I'm failing, and I'm sorry for that. It's just that I'm so agitated; because this blond little shit strolled into my room, destroyed my _seventy-inch, plasma screen TV_, and is trying to impress me like I'm his father" Luke rushed at Naruto with a roar before Luke's modified M1 Garand and Naruto's Jackal Pistol pointed at each other's head ready to fire.

"Be a sport and grab daddy another beer, would you~" Luke's response was to shoot Naruto in the head and kick him away, shoot him as he was flying back than ran up and began to assault Naruto with multiple attacks and throwing him around like a rag doll as Naruto had a bored expression as he purposely missed his shots on the traitor.

"You can't touch me, I was hand-crafted to kill you. My speed, my stamina, my power all rival, nay, _dwarf_ yours! In comparison to you, I am a _God!_ "

"...Really? Really" Naruto asked.

"Really" Luke confirmed.

" _Really?_ " Naruto asked again with a smirk tugging at his lips.

"Really!"

" _Really?_ " Naruto said excitedly with a mad grin.

"Really!" Luke yelled.

"Release Restraint, level one" Naruto said as he formed a rectangle with his hands with his eye in the middle.

"Level _What?_ " Luke asked before he screams in pain as a dog appeared and when it opened its mouth Naruto's arm came out with his gun in his hand and shot Luke's leg off right off.

"Aaagh, agaah, FUCK" Luke yelled clutching his stump of a leg as he wobbled to get away.

"You know, they say that TV makes you violent, but I say that not having my TV is making me _pretty fucking violent!_ " Naruto said as his voice was sounding more deeper and demonic as he walked to the limping and cowering Luke. Naruto used his jackal gun to shoot Luke in his other leg making him collapse and crawl.

"AAAAAOOOOUGH-! I'm near the stairs, gotta get to the stairs, if I could just get up the stairs, I..." Luke stopped talking as soon as he saw how long the stairs were. "Awww, _Fuck_...!"

"Come on! You were talking all of that god shit a second ago, _then I blew your fucking legs off!_ " Naruto yelled.

"But, I... you... _w_ _hat the fuck?!_ " Luke screamed.

"What's wrong 'God'? Just grow back your legs!" Naruto then proceeded to crush Luke's leg in his hand. "Summon up your demons! Hit me! _FIGHT ME! ... Give me a hug~!_" Naruto said with his arms wide open.

"Really...?" Luke asked shakily before the giant black dog from before comes at him. " _ **OH GOD NO-!**_ "

Unknown to them all of the Olympians were listening and a majority of them had horrified looks as Naruto who was still on speaker phone yelled as Luke was being eaten.

"We're here on _Epic Meal Time!_ I'm the sauce boss, and tonight, we're eating this _blond little wannabe God **bitch!**_ "

"Who...is that exactly?" Poseidon asked.

"Oh, that's Naruto, the one we talked about earlier. This is what happens when he has to entertain himself." Hera said with a smirk.

"I-I see"

 **Back At The Manor With Hera And Naruto**

"Ah, and just like that, everything turned out alright in the end" Naruto said as Hera just shook her head. "Oh, that reminds me, for whatever reason, did we ever find out who sent them?" There was a brief moment until Naruto said with a wide smile. "It was the Nazis, wasn't it?"

"No!" Hera said firmly.

"Bet you I'm right!"

"Bet you your wrong!"

"Bet you you're a skank~!" Naruto said in a sing song type of voice.

"Bet you you're an asshole!"

"BITCH, I EAT PEOPLE!" Naruto yelled back.

"Um, master" Seras said getting the attention of Naruto.

"Yes police girl?"

"What about that Anderson woman?"

"Oh I almost forgot!" Naruto said as he turned to Hera. "Is Artemis still upset that I managed to infiltrate her little girl scouts group by turning into a young girl?"

Hera rubbed the bridge of her nose as she sighed. "What do you think?" She asked. "I managed to talk to her after the meeting about her hunter, Samantha...wait...why did you transform into a girl?"

Seras looked at her master with the same look as Hera. "Master?"

"I was curious to see what it would be like to be a lesbian, and yes it was awesome, thank you for asking" The vampire replied.

"What am I going to do with you Naruto" Hera said as she rubbed her temple, she was going to have a migraine.

"Oh I can think of multiple things you can do to me~" Naruto replied before Athena handed Hera a box as the goddess of marriage got out a deadly looking weapon.

"Care to repeat yourself?" She asked.

Naruto could only smirk. "Oh how kinky~" he said. "I never knew this side of you Hera~"

Hera frowned at the vampire as she approached him as she raised the weapon into the air before swinging it down. "I'm glad to have a master like you" Hera stopped mid swing. "Your just my type~"

Hera resumed her swing hitting the vampire as Seras looked at Athena. "Does this happen often?" Seras asked.

Athena could only sigh. "You have no idea, it's been going on longer than I have been alive"

"Your just jealous that the police girl has bigger titties than you" They heard Naruto said. "But hey I'm not complaining...maybe a little"

They then heard Hera land another blow on the vampire. Seras could only imagine what would happen from here as she and Athena waited for Hera to calm down as Naruto just took all the blows like it was nothing.

 **A one-shot of a Naruto/Hellsing/Percy Jackson crossover. Stories here are currently one shots and one day could become full fledged stories but for now are simply one shots. Once again this story is a collaboration with the god of destruction naruto.**

 **Originally this was going to be a single one-shot of this one story but after some talk we decided to make it a one-shot series.**

 **This chapter was written by the god of destruction naruto.**


End file.
